My Life, Thoughts, and Dreams

So Little Time

2008-08-10T21:41:00.000-04:00

as i lay on my mom’s bed, with demetri martin singing and telling jokes on the tv, i realize that i have so little time left to my summer. where did it go? my eyes well up each time i think about it because i’ve spent the majority of my summer in an office. in an office! it’s wild that i became the person i never thought i would be: the office worker.

i long for the outdoors, and for the warmth of the sun to lay on my skin and give me the nutrients i need to be happy. at the same time, i’m so happy that i am sitting in an office and getting all of the experience i will need for school. there is no other way that could have gotten this opportunity to learn, but i have the next four years to learn. i don’t know. these days, my thoughts are jumbled up into unreadable messes, and i become incoherent very easily.

i’m sorry if i seem all over the place, but i really am. i try to think about school and immediately my mind closes and blocks everything out. don’t even try to talk to me about what goes on at work because i’m overwhelmed with work i want to finish before i leave because i would hate to leave unfinished work for my boss. and just when you think i should be relieved to go home and talk to my family, you are oh so very wrong. things right now are all a mess with my mother’s job getting oddly close to an end, and my father getting his divorce, moving out, and finding a new job: aka dad is getting a new life. and friends? let’s just say we are all getting closer to forgetting each other’s existence.

so i have no where to run to. all i want to do is just disappear to an area where people only want to hang out and have fun, and will never have crap like this going on. i wish there were people i could depend on to just make everything better. someday soon i will be some place new, with amazing people, and an incredible life, but i wish i could just skip the hard crap and just get to it.

aka: this is just another day, and i wish it wasn’t.

I'm BACK!!!

2008-07-26T01:03:00.002-04:00

So do you remember my last post about my dead computer? Well, it really was dead, and it was devastating. I made an appointment at the Genius Bar, or as I called it, "the drinkless bar that needs drinks", and the "drinkless bartender" did nothing to really help me but to say that it could be the hard drive that was giving me the trouble or my logic board, and either way, it was going to be a heavy penny to get either repaired. It was ridiculous. And so I use just about every computer I could get into reach of to check my email, and of course keep up on the little things like twitter.

I've never expressed my obsession with twitter here, but it's clearly evident that I have a small issue.

I AM ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET.

it's a really big issue because I have over 20 different web accounts to social websites all over the place, and even more, talk to my friends more often than I should through AIM. Naturally, the break between my world from the internet from myself was pretty harsh, but at the same time I became a tad bit productive in different ways such as going out to see movies and have ice cream with a friend. It may seem like nothing, but it was pretty nice and lucky to go and hang out in the "real world".

So let me explain that twitter is a micro-blogging website that's nice for mini updates of what's going on. I love it because it is so quick, I can carry a short conversation with anyone in the community, and I am able to access it with my phone without charges. I use twitter to text updates, and receive direct messages while I also have a number that I can call to record a message update for twitter through "twitterfone". All of it has been amazing because I still have been able to keep in contact with some people that I really enjoy.

But now on to the real story. My computer is fixed. How? A family friend was amazing enough to offer his time to check out what was wrong with my computer, and then kind enough to replace my hard drive, which was the root of the problem, without any cost towards me. I know I'll find a way to repay him, but until then, we're making plans to repair my optical drive because it doesn't like to read DVD's or CD's, let alone burn one. It's wonderful.

I love personalizing a computer. I'm a little upset my computer's little tweaks in bookmarks and files is gone, but I can live with it. I'm just happy my photos and music were safe from the small explosion of the hard drive (not literally of course).

Well, It's really late right now, and this desk is starting to hurt my shoulders when I type, so I'm off to bed with happy dreams because I have my computer back and better than ever.

:D

Why Now?

2008-07-03T15:13:00.003-04:00

So I've had an awesome schedule of getting up, making my coffee, driving to work, and then coming home to hang out on my computer to just relax. I really enjoyed my computer time after work.

Let me build up the story by adding the background information that my Macbook is a doll, but has always given me one issue once in a while. At first, when I first got my laptop, it wouldn't turn on. You cannot imagine the amount of frustration and sorrow that comes over you when you buy your first laptop all to yourself to find that it won't even turn on. It was horrible. I sat on my bed all alone in the house crying as I would turn on my computer over and over again to see a grey screen that wouldn't even start up. Luckily, when my mom came home, she had the magic touch to make it work.

Although, as the weeks went by, my computer continued to scare me with it's stubborn reactions to me trying to turn it on. This resulted in my sending it off after two weeks of having it to only have it gone for another two weeks. When it came back, it was love all over again with a machine just for me. It's hard to understand the bond that I have with my computer, but once you get one for yourself for the very first time, you do.

So time goes by, the and the whiteness of my laptop turns to a brownish grey tint. It's hard to notice how disgusting it is, but once you put some toothpaste on your computer, you'll see what I mean. I also highly recommend Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser. Ya know...for the special moments.

Anyways, I came to the point in time when I needed to replace my battery, okay that's about $120. Might I also mention that my little white plastic lining along my cpmputer started to break off. "oh well. i'll live," as I always repeat to myself. Well, then I wanted to upgrade my RAM because I only had 512 MB of memory and it didn't seem enough to do anything. So what do I do? I spurged on a good 2 GB for myself because I decided that it would be better for my college investment. That was two weeks ago.

Last night, the worst happened. I clicked on a couple links from twitter and Safari freezes. Mind you, it was right after I opened my computer after I had it asleep. So I can understand. I figure, why not force quit it? So I tried to force quit myself out of Safari, but Finder has forzen so it won't do anything. I figure, why not close out of Adium? Yeah, BAD IDEA. So now my entire computer is frozen for some reason so I force a shut down on my computer. Go to restart, and now my computer turns on with a flashing folder with a question mark in it. Translation: my hard drive isn't being found.

I go through numerous key tricks to make it work, but nothing changes. That darn folder with a question mark continues to blink on my plain white screen. So today I called the Apple Support to see if they could help me. And the guy was awesome listening to my horrible cries of "someone is out to spite me because I told myself I shouldn't buy a new computer for my first year of college...I should wait!" I should have said what was on my mind: "The Apple Gods were punishing me."

After a good half hour, or an hour on the phone with this poor guy, I finally got my computer to recognize the Mac OS X CD and actually start the installations, but sadly it wasn't able to even recognize my Hard Drive. So what is the result? I need to make a date with a Genius at the Genius Bar and rut my head to find out what's wrong with my hard drive. I REALLY don't want to have to replace it, but if I do, I'm going for a larger size. It's going to be better.

I really hate to think about what was on my computer, but I am so good about having stuff on my external hard drives that all I lost were a couple of graduation pictures that I didn't upload to Flickr. Thank GOD for Flickr. If I didn't use it, I would have lost my favorite pictures. OMG. I think I actually, wait, no. I put all of my Prom pics on a flash drive for a friend. What a save. At least I think...

So I really am not going to get a new laptop. I'd rather get a new hard drive and buy the new laptop when it's something KICKASS later.

I won't be on a computer for a long time. So if you want to keep in contact, email me and I'll read it when I can.

I miss my love!

I Survived Week One

2008-06-27T23:25:00.003-04:00

WOW.

I love being in the adult world. I love freedom, and I love the smell and taste of my morning coffee while I sit in traffic and drive to work. It just astounds me how much my life is currently upside down compared to what it was about two weeks ago. Yes, it was only last week that I graduated high school, but it was also a change for a new life, in a new world.

I have grown so comfortable in the care of my mother and relying on her for my rides and schedules from day to day, and this week was intense in the situation that my mother has been in Maryland for the week at school and I was given the car to take care of myself for the week, including my start at my first job and internship. It was so incredible. It was like a scene from Freaky Friday without the crazy earthquake creating fortune cookie at a tacky chinese restaurant or anything. Instead, it was a simple parting of ways between my mother and I in reverse directions.

I loved the feeling of driving to work in the morning on my own, which is an hour of "me time", even if there was horrible traffic. I loved becoming a part of the office, and gaining my own desk out of the three total working desks. It was amazing to learn how to take site measurements for conceptual projects, learn the math to find topographical grading, and then to learn the ways of the architectural process of creating the design: from sketch, to vectorworks, to photoshop, and then to sketchup. It's just perfect because I know I'm gaining an edge for my entrance to school in the fall. I just cannot wait to enter.

This brings me to another point.

I cannot believe that I am actually joining into a new world. This is much different from my new job because my boss is my mother's friend, and pottery student, I'm only a 3 minute drive from my mother's work, and I continue to visit her workplace after I'm finished with work so I can talk to familiar people. For me to be going to a school FIVE hours away from home is a rather large deal. I continue to worry about what might happen, but most of all, I'm afraid of what I'll miss back home. I'm not saying that I'll be absolutely homesick, but I know that it will hurt me not to know everything that's going on back home, and seeing people as normally as I do. For example, I feel so awkward talking about where I'm going to school because I'm going to a very high ranking school while the majority of my friends are going to the state school that I turned down for myself. I feel like I'm rude whenever I have to explain to someone new that I am going to a different school from everyone else, and yes, I won't know anyone else from the area other than an old lab partner from a year before, who is a year ahead of me, and who my friend's aren't really fond of. I hate the feeling that I'm being rude, annoying, or obnoxious, and I hate thinking that someone has a negative thought of me just because of my choices. It's not that I am embarrassed by my choice of school, but I have learned that people around me frown upon my difference, and so I try not to become the foreign object of conversation.

I'm not saying that I am conforming, or that I am falling under peer pressure of any sort, but that sometimes I find that certain friends are not the ones to talk about certain things to. I find that some of my friends are jealous because I am going to my number one school while they got turned down. I also find that some of my friends don't understand my motive to experience every bit of the world and to try different likes and tastes. It's hard because I live in a small town where the people frown upon internet communication unless it's with someone you already know. So I find it hard to talk to my friends about my love for diggnation or twitter because they just don't get it. They're not close-minded, but they have different ideas for enjoyment.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am too excited for my new life, but I'm scared of the people I am leaving and the life I am leaving because I'm starting to actually love it and very comfortable with it after a long time of hating it, and I just don't want to lose what I have. I don't want to lose some of my greatest friends because of our differences, and soon our different locations. I truly do feel an honor when someone likes me and enjoys my company as so theirs, so to know that I am going to be far from people who I trust, I know it's going to be hard.

Today I went to two graduation parties and it was there that I started out having a ball and being a party animal, but by the end of the evening, I was seeing how everyone had their differences and how I felt really outcasted at one point because of my dislike of a three hour long game of sexual innuendos that soon were all directed at me. I can take it. It's not bullying. It's only a playful banter between friends, but I realized that huge difference that I had with my friends and I didn't know who they were and was unfamiliar with "this side of them" and it scared me to death. Was this how it was going to be in the future? Are we going to see each other, share a hug, and then only be able to reminisce because we have nothing in common in our likes to share a conversation about with offending someone? It feels so hard to know this parting is occurring, and with some people I don't mind it, but truthfully, it scares me because I know that I am changing and will change even more over the years and fear that in turn I will not be liked anymore, or respected as I am now.

Call me paranoid. I know I am. I am always scared.

adult life?

2008-06-22T23:21:00.003-04:00

Okay so it's hit me. HARD.

I am driving to my first day of work tomorrow. I already am planning on stopping at the ATM to activate my first ATM card, stopping at a store for my sister, and stopping at my doctor's to get my immunization history all tomorrow morning. Can I explain to you how amazing this feels?

Even better, I am making plans to visit a friend for coffee after work, having a graduation dinner with my dad, and going to get my hair cut. I'm so excited for this week. I can only wish that it will be amazing and continue to rock.

Good luck to everyone else!

PS. I upgraded my RAM from 512 MB to 2 GB and let me just say the difference is utterly astounding. I love it. I would highly recommend the upgrading of memory if anyone feels their computer is running a tad bit slow. It's a miracle.

And yet, I'm still looking into buying a new macbook. My reasoning being that I would love to have a larger basic hard drive. Hell, anything more than 60 GB standard would make my day. Then again, I am willing to wait because I know that Apple will upgrade their computers to something amazing within a year. No big differences this far = it's coming!

anticlimactic freedom

2008-06-20T00:00:00.003-04:00

After thirteen years of schooling in the same system and with the same group of students, I found my end of this chapter of my life, the closing of these doors, rather anticlimactic.

You imagine yourself falling apart when you walk away from your friends, or at least an unsettling feeling in your stomach for nervousness for your future. But when you experience absolutely no feelings towards it all, you cannot help but feel like a heartless person, or even worse, a robot.

I find myself as a hopeless romantic who has high expectations. I dream of these amazing experiences that may happen, such as someone sweeping me off of my feet, a fairy tale prom, or a dramatic graduation. When none of the above occur, it surely does confuse me. I think of my life as a movie and when I dream at night, I use every little bit of movies to create scenarios that only seem dramatic and amazing, and find myself disappointed very often with the realistic outcomes. For graduation, I expected myself to cry, or at least have a sense of loss, and if that didn't happen, I had hoped for a feeling of happiness or excitement. Although, I walked out of graduation feeling blank and without any thoughts or emotions. I expected more...something to happen!

I hate being disappointed and it's only in these situations that I can blame myself for dreaming too much and too high, but then I realize how important it is. If I didn't dream of myself going to an amazing school and becoming a strong student, I would not have become it. I realize that my fears hold me back from allowing myself to fail, experiencing trials of pain, and even not reaching my goals. I don't set my goals or dreams to high, but rather I don't work hard enough to reach them. I have finally reached one of my greatest and what seemed like my highest goal and it amazes me that I reached it, but it also makes me happy to realize my capabilities. I can do whatever I want and make every dream I have come true as long as I work for it. Having a guy sweep me off of my feet? I would have to do the research to find someone to create a strong bond with. Having a fairy tale prom? I would have had to keep a positive attitude the entire night to create that euphoric feeling.

And as for a dramatic graduation? I would have had to let myself dwell on the past and only think of the good things that I will miss and nothing about my future. If you think about it, it would be a negative thing to only think about the past and to cry about leaving it. Change is good and when I think more about it, the more I realize the importance of it in my life. Without making changes in my life, and looking into the future with positive eyes, I will never enjoy my life.

And so, I think of everything that has happened to bring me to this end of a portion of my life, and I am happy to know that I get to experience another portion of it in my future. All I have to do is dream big and let myself work hard to make all of it come true.

clarity

2008-06-12T23:25:00.003-04:00

I hate to sound cliché and I try as much as I can to avoid it, but I just cannot.

Do you every have that moment of clarity where finally everything makes sense and you see the light before you? I cannot help but believe that this moment and emotion that I currently carry is one of those unrealistic moments. Why so unrealistic? This is the point in time that I can believe what I want to such as future careers, experiences, loves, and memories. The reality is that I may never know what is to come. I may never know until I am in my old age and able to realize everything in front of me.

I say all of this gibberish because I am graduating in less than a week and I cannot believe all that I am leaving behind. I could cry over how many hours I have spent on worthless projects, but it would mean nothing because all I can think about it is the sense of community I had in school is going away. I have always longed for a place to call "home" where I knew that everything would be whole and perfectly alright and now that I think about it, it was my school system. Yes, many of my moments in school were spent whining over how much I wanted to get out and far away, but of course, realization sets in on my gift of an amazing school with some priceless people. I just wish I could freeze a couple moments of time so that I could savor them over and over again, and sadly I know I cannot do that.

After all of these years of begging to leave, it's a horrible punishment to know that I'll miss my school. I'll miss the respect from administrators, chats with teachers, walking through empty hallways, and of course, creating happy memory after memory with my friends. It never ceases to amaze me how many people I have been able to get acquainted with and create such strong bonds and lasting friendships. Sadly, I know that the majority of them will not stick without the glue of school community. It's without our common stomping grounds, I fear that I will never see some people again.

What about those new peers? The new friends that change your views on life? I know that it sounds horribly corny, but I just love to think about all of the things that have made my friends laugh. I love the feeling of pride that comes when your friends laugh with you and you know that they are there to support you. I know I'll miss one new friend more than anything because of their kind character. It's because of them that I know that I should never make assumptions to people's lives because I know some of their habits. The truth is, when you are a bright spirit, and are willing to share your love with others, you will always find people at your side who also radiate love outwards along with respect. It's the confidence of life that brings us together, but it's the love of company and difference that keeps us together.

I can only make one wish for my future years in a new school community-that they too are looking for a sense of home within their community and are willing to share their souls and love to everyone to make us all whole. For only then will we be a family, which is definitely more than you could imagine to ask for.

For seniors-congrats on graduating! You are true survivors of life!

UPGRADE!

2008-05-12T15:28:00.004-04:00

Last night I upgraded my OS on my little white macbook from Tiger to Leopard and let's just say it was an adventure.

I was extremely ecstatic to be upgrading my computer, and before my birthday, but it took so long to do! When I say long, I mean it took two attempts with restarting, and then two hours to install afterwards. My computer huffed and puffed with its ventilation system and even made sure to express its hate for it through thundering the CD in the optical drive. If you saw my computer, you would think it was going through a major breakdown by the way it was acting.

In the end, the new software took up 5.6 GB of my hard drive, when I only have 8 GB total in free space. After this realization, I took quick action to clear out just about every video I have made along with unnecessary files over to my external hard drive. I guess you can call me a pack-rat because I keep just about every photo and email and video. It's only when it's true crap that I send it off to the trash and empty it immediately.

Now that I have had a bit of time to explore and play around, I am really loving this. I cannot tell you how much I love the look of the new dock without giving a horrible giggle, and even more, how nicely Mail is now looking. Now that I think of it, I should really check iChat and Photobooth, but I promised my friend do test it with her later tonight (some video chatting!!!) Leopard is amazing in it's change in look, promise for excitment and it pretty much brought it all. I must say that I am so happy to have it now, even if it is running a tad bit slow on my little macbook.

Might I explain the amazing capabilities of my mac? well, here's a mini screenshot of my harddrive's performance.

Yes, I did pay the lowest price and back in September of 2006. This poor thing. I love it with all of my heart, and sometimes I fear that I beat it up...I swear I don't. To make sure it looks new and shiny like its replacement battery, I cleaned it with some toothpaste which was simply amazing. I would fear toothpaste on my teeth was it not meant for the cleaning of teeth. It's so powerful and literally made my raggedy, brown macbook to a shiny and new white all over again.

and if you haven't already done it, install grabup to upload your screenshots immediately. it's amazing. (pro version coming soon!)

Pretty Ecstatic!

2008-05-08T22:29:00.005-04:00

So this week has been extremely busy and I guess you can say stressful because I have had a week of exams!

I had AP Spanish on Tuesday which was at a different school from mine. It went well, and I can only say this because I'm still breathing. The day afterwards, I has AP Calculus and again, it went well because I am still breathing but there is nothing to make me feel confident as to what grade I got. Truthfully, I just need to forget the fact that I took them so that I can be happily surprised in July.

Today, I took my driving exam! The best part is, I passed! I was so worried that I was going to make a mistake and I would get brutally punished, but my tester was extremely kind and made sure to warn me well ahead of what to do. So everything went swimmingly and I'm really happy! Even better, I have a happy, smiley picture for my license to make me feel both awkward and proud at the same time.

So after the exam, I dropped my mom off at home, and then drove to school all by myself! It was invigorating and both insanely nerve-racking to park across the street from the high school and walk in at 11:30am and be excused. Actually, it was pretty amazing to then proceed to my next class, which was an AP, to watch Ratatouille. I love that movie.

Anyways, I'm feeling pretty happy right now, and hiding all of my fears and insecurities pretty well. Tomorrow is Friday and I only wish there was no school. But no fear, tomorrow should be another good day. Technically, I have not been in my classes since Monday so this week is good. After school, I plan to go to the movies with my sister to go see Iron Man. Should be EPIC!!!

Oh and before I forget. If anyone is reading this, which probably isn't anyone, I want you to check out this little application for iTunes that helps you tag your music with moods and then you can play your music in a shuffle mode by the moods. It's really simple and pretty amazing.

Here's the link: http://www.crayonroom.com/moody.php

Have fun this week!

not a fan.

2008-05-07T21:35:00.005-04:00

So the biggest surprise that came this spring was the car ride home from a trip to Boston with my dad. Instead of getting a new pet, making plans for parties, or even a vacation to New Hampshire, my father’s news consisted of a divorce. Now it is time to explain.

My father married a woman in 1999 and let’s just say she wasn’t the nicest poisoned apple. She was rude, unkind, and had outrageous ways of being a whore. I kid you not when I say that she laid nude in a bathtub full of rice for a Survivor audition tape and then had my sister and I scoop it into bags to be donated to her church. YEAH. She’s wonderful, no? Even better, she hunted around, for the same tape, in a full leather bodysuit in her one foot of woods and then proceeded to pretend that she was cooking fish in rice on a fire outside when in reality, she was stirring around our dead and frozen pet fish from years before along with rice. I swear, you would love her just as much as we do. That’s the part that upset us almost as much as when she became pregnant twice: the fact that my father had never questioned if my sister and I had liked her. In the end, we learned to get over it all and use computers to escape the reality of the visitations of my father’s house each week.

So you would imagine that my sister and I would be absolutely ecstatic that we get to have our father to ourselves now and never have to see this crazy woman again, but guess again. My father is not exactly the best person in the world. Yes, like every person on this Earth, he has his flaws, but then some. I have trust issues with my father due to his infidelity to my mother along with his inability to tell the truth. While I guess you can say that I am acting unfair in all of these situations, I want to tell you that while my father is the coolest guy on Earth to go to an amusement park and share racks of barbequed ribs with, but he has his ways. My father doesn’t like to answer to any issues at hand and finds that he always needs to be right, while at the same time carrying the patience of a newborn and ready to complain in an instant. Mind you, I love my father, I truly due, but sometimes I wish he would learn to take responsibility and get to know it because I need a father figure; not a beer buddy.

Now my father is looking into a house to buy while he is still living with his wife. Yes, the divorce really hasn’t even begun. I laugh because I know that this marriage will end like a war, but not any kind of war- more like a World War. Both my dad and his wife are the biggest moochers on the face of this planet and are the most selfish. I expect to hear a fight about something absolutely ridiculous like the wedding pictures. I’m ready for it. So for probably another year, my father will be going through the greatest battle of his life, which I hope will lead to his greatest reality check. I only hope that my father doesn’t expect me to do some crazy celebration dance for him or to talk trash about anything in front of his face. No, I have a talent or saying nothing to him and I will continue it. Yes, I will give him support when he needs it and listen when he needs someone, but I will not tell him anything I do not believe.

So this is my spring. I really do not like the way it’s flowing so far because it. Not only do I have a problem personally with my father, but I really do not agree with his belief of marriage.

I don’t know how you feel about the commitment that is involved in a marriage. You could say that you find it very strong and hope that it lasts forever, but I don’t believe that it’s enough. Truthfully, if you want a strong and permanent relationship with someone, you need to make it happen. I’m not saying that you should force yourself into a marriage forever, but rather never rush in. We have grown up into a society that values it’s disposable life and whenever we get sick of something, we’re okay because we can always make a replacement. Well, it shouldn’t be that way because now people look at marriage as a giant party and if the first one didn’t go the way you wished, you could always have another with the help of a divorce lawyer. It makes me so angry to see people just freely run around with multiple marriages such as my father’s side of the family. My father, his mother, and his father all had three marriages. When will this trend of crazy-untruthful commitments end?

How do I feel that this could be fixed? Well, first off, I think people should date freely without making too strong of relationships unless they truly mean it. For example, you should not be dating some girl for a month and immediately say you love her and start carving your names into trees saying “forever”. That’s just your ticket to going nowhere. And while it may seem romantic for two seconds, the reality is that you are rushing unless you have known this person for your entire life. Now when you should decide to get married you should not just think about the party of the wedding, but more of the intensity of your devotion and finding the true meaning of your vows. If you find someone who only wants to make a simple wedding and doesn’t care how it’s done as long as you are next to them, then you have the right person, or so I hope.

When you get into these arrangements, you really need to be prepared. I’m not saying that you should know every aspect about your future or possible partner, but instead you should have a strong background of living together so you understand how your lives would run, and have close relationships with each other’s families because they are going to become your own. Again, I’m not saying that you should be crazy together all the time, but when you chose someone to be with, you need to be able to know that you are going to be yourself and have yourself loved. I don’t want to see people with multiple personalities in front of their partners and then in front of everyone else just because they don’t feel comfortable. You need to be yourself and find someone to love you entirely, but be willing to make small changes as to how you keep your toothpaste if you are in this relationship for the long run.

I do believe that it is possible for people to find their true loves and be together as to what seems like an eternity, and all it takes is a bit of work, love, and devotion to it all. I just wonder if I’ll find the right person, you know?

Mac & Cheese

2008-04-11T21:02:00.003-04:00

So have you ever had one of those boring nights? No one wants to do anything, and there is no way for you to get out of house? Well, I get those every weekend, but I love it. This is the time I vlog, edit photos, listen to loud music, and just have my own party. It really is a lot of fun, but most of all, I love cooking whatever I want.

To full understand where I come from, you must know that my family comes from South America and we have kept a lot of the traditions of a South American life such as eating late at night. I hardly get hungry before 8, and usually around 9. On top of it, I LOVE to cook. So when no one is home to pick on me, I cook like no one can believe.

Last week, my grandmother was home, but she was too lazy to move out of her room, and she listened to her when I told her that I wanted to cook for myself so she didn't to worry. This meant that I had freedom so I looked in the fridge, had a minor debate in my head as to what to make, and then decided that I would make a fajita. Here are a couple of pictures of the mayhem that occurred.

The container with the meat was bloody, which really turned me off at first.

MEAT

cooking

YUM! Dinner at 9:30pm.

Although, this was a couple days ago. My favorite thing to cook when no one else is home is my own homemade macaroni and cheese. I promise you that I am telling you the truth that it is amazing. I make my own Béchamel from butter, flour, milk, and of course a lot of cheese. I learned from both my father, who is a chef, and from watching the Food Network whenever I'm bored. The first time I tried to make it, it came out horrible and it took 3 more times for me to get it perfect. Now, tonight was a big event for cooking because I haven't made pasta for myself well over 2 months due to my dedication to the Atkin's diet. It's been well worth the loss of carbohydrates, but every now and then I treat myself. So tonight I made another rookie Béchamel for my pasta and it came out amazing, although, I had forgotten how small of portions I have been eating lately. I made enough for three people, but I ate it all anyways because it was so good. You have to have fun sometime!

A WHOLE bowl to myself! It was very exciting

This is when I started to doubt my ability to eat it all because the bowl was just about as big as my head.

I survived!

I wish everyone knew how to make their own homemade macaroni and cheese because it is an awesome trick to have. I know that I would love to teach it to kids, along with Rice Krispie Treats and Cookies!

Website?

2008-03-27T19:48:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking recently about going off to school in the fall and keeping in touch with my family without having to worry about the hassle of finding the time to communicate. I'll be studying, trying to bond with strangers, and of course being a crazy girl who finds something to do. I don't want to have to worry about how i'll keep in touch with my mom, finding time to make phone calls or making emails.

SO I thought. Should I make a website? I could make it LIKE a blog but have different aspects. Like it seems professional with photographs and information about my studies, but navigating to a "part" of the page would bring you to what I've been up to with some videos, and maybe a couple of words LIKE a blog. I don't think I'll ever find the time to have a blog, but being able to do this would be positive. I don't know. It's just an idea.

I do already have a funny name for it, but we'll see if it ever happens.

Until then, I still have no clue as to where I'm going or what I'll be doing! It's wild!

It's Almost Done.

2008-03-24T20:55:00.000-04:00

Next week starts April. I'm just in awe that soon, I'll be graduating, turning eighteen, and moving out of the house to go off to college! It's so exciting! Also, I'm finding out which college I'll be going to within the next month so things are going really well!

Well, other than all of the homework and busy schedules seem impossible.

That's life.

Oh and I'm becoming sick again, which really stinks. Am I being pushed for being the Easter bunny? I don't think anyone should get sick after that. It's just unfair.

Each time I think of something insane, I feel like typing it all down and posting it here, but then when I finally sit in front of a blank space of white for me to type, my thoughts just seem so dispersed and impossible to put together.

I'm thinking of printing the photographs that I take of nature and making cards to sell at a place I know. That way, I can gain some money for college. Oh and I still have yet to get my license and find a job, so I really need to get into that soon. If not, I'll be in a lot of financial problems in school. Not fun.

Everything is going well

2008-02-16T21:13:00.000-05:00

Last month, I was feeling really depressed and just down in the dumps, but I believe that February might just be my month.

1. I received a phone call a week ago from the office of a US Magistrate Judge who wanted to conduct an alumni interview with me for Yale. I was amazed because that meant that I was being acknowledged, which I really could only wish would happen. So I had the interview on Tuesday at a Law Firm, and I have to say that it was amazing. I answered the questions short and to the point while still giving pleasantly interesting information, or as the Judge found it. I was really happy about my work, and he was extremely kind and outgoing which was much more comforting then a stiff. It was a glorious event to walk out and think, "This went well: really well."

2.I started a diet! I know, I know, diets aren't for everyone, but the Atkins Diet is the one for me. I used it back in April to lose 5 pounds for prom in May and during that time, I felt so much better. I slept better, had less stomach aches, felt more active, and something else that I was having a hard time remembering, but it was better. Well, I realized that I've been on a binge since May 25th, so I decided that it would be best for me to start the Atkins Diet with my mom. Now I started this on the 5th and since then, I have been eating a lot of healthy vegetables, my bacon and other favorite meats, and sugar-free chocolate at night. The best part is, I feel a lot better during the day. I have a naturally happy disposition, energetic feeling, and going into a deep sleep at night which has restarted my brain into dreams.

I haven't dreamt about anything for the longest time, and it was wonderful to wake up one morning going, "Woah. I feel like I watched a movie." It was funny to me because they were the wildest dreams and all of them end in me running away and doing something extreme like eloping. It's odd, but it's much better than the one-eye open sleep I've been having. Much better.

3. People are kind! I know this sounds weird, but this generation is all about making networking connections through the internet. The common pen-pal of elementary school has become the common friend of any social networking website. And this month, I have emerged onto the plane of youtube where I have been speaking my mind and finding kind people who compliment and help me with questions! It's really comforting to hear that someone cares especially when I feel like no one listens to me during the day (I never finish). Most recently, I became a part of the community when I "got tagged". It was crazy, but really positive. Mind you, my video was long and annoying, but in the end, I felt positive and fresh. Even better, I tagged 5 people, and soon became good friends with one of them.

It feels awkward to talk about an online friendship since everyone says it's not real and it could be a scam, but I guess I'm just really trusting of people's word. I connected with one of the members of the youtube community and it feels really nice to talk to someone kind, and different. Mind you, he lives in Britain, so I have no worries about getting stalked, but I do have a thin guard up. Anyways, for Valentines Day, I made a video talking about Valentines and saying how wonderful it was in grammar school to exchange these cards of endearment to others. Well, this one fellow didn't have the experience, or said so, and so I made him a Valentine, posted it's presentation on Youtube, and begged him to record his reaction and let me see it. In the end, I felt like I was a good friend to anyone, but the greatest part of all was that he had gotten me a Valentine. What you ask? Well, that's number 4.

4. From this kind "stranger" of youtube, I was gifted 100 mini "moo cards" of 50 photos from my flickr account. I nearly fainted from bewilderment. Someone who has never really met me, actually bought me cards of my photos for a holiday that isn't that celebrated where he is? Wow. People are amazingly kind. I cannot say it anymore that I was so completely dumbfounded that I was at a loss for words. I was just blown away by the generosity of someone else. Mind you, I was surprised because none of my friends did anything for Valentines and my mother bought me corny socks (that i still enjoy). So, I had a Valentine, and a wonderful Valentines Day. It actually was a first. Go figure.

5. I found the perfect scholarship to apply for. It's a horticulture scholarship for students in Connecticut who go into related fields. It's so perfect, I wanted to cry. Now all I have to do is go and fill it out before March 7th, which is creeping up pretty fast.

6. I had a snow day the day before Valentines. It was wonderful to have a pajama day. And then, a two hour delay the next day. It made this week amazing. Even better, vacation started yesterday. I don't have school next week so I'm really happy.

7. I have an English project coming up, a Senior Memory Book. It requires students to get personal in scrapbooks, but my friend and I are going to be doing it using iMovie which will be so awesome. I'm so excited to go through and make my chapters by using photos from my childhood. It will be something I will watch in the future and find it amazing. Even something that I might try and show to my kids, if I have any.

8. This is the mellow month of waiting. I love not getting a rejection letter yet, but it makes it that much harder since I imagine one coming soon. It's alright to receive one because it will make it easier for me in the decision process, but I do want to know where I'm going. A lot of the students already know where they are going and sporting their pride in T-shirts and sweatshirts. I cannot wait to do that. I will just be one ecstatic kid.

9. It's FEBRUARY!!! Only a few more months and I'll be graduating! I cannot believe that this is all happening so fast! It's wonderful though and I am just so excited for the new year and I just cannot wait to explore some place new. It will be amazing.

I hope everyone is having a good month as I am. This usually doesn't happen, but things are going really well and I like that.

Are you serious?

2008-02-01T21:54:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I went to the dentist and due to scheduling issues, my sister and I ended up with appointments at 5pm. Well, that wasn't so bad except for the fact that we had to leave the house for errands with my grandmother and she dropped us off at the dentist with an hour to spare. It was not a short wait. Then again, I did read through half of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for school when I only had to read two pages for the next day. Not bad, but I was extremely tired and my daily two hour nap was eaten up in the waiting room and chair of the dentist.

To my surprise, the hygienist told me that I have my wisdom teeth coming in and they are actually level with my back molars and the next time I visit, they plan to take panoramic X-Rays of my mouth to see if they need to be extracted. Now I say surprised because I haven't had a single bit of pain from my mouth and yet my sister is the one who is complaining about headaches from them and they didn't say anything about them to her. So right now, I hope that I don't have to go through any pain, or surgery to pull them out.

In continuation, I was really tired when I got home and the whole family was really hungry so we had a very early dinner. We ended before 7 which is very abnormal for us since we usually finish dinner at 9:30 at night. So I went upstairs, took a shower, and did every little thing possible to get ready for bed. After what seemed to be an hour on the computer, I looked at the clock and saw 9:01. It was impossible. It was NOT 9 o'clock at night! It seemed as if I was waiting for the clock to say 10 so that I could legitimately go to sleep and not wake up in the night. And there's the kicker.

My mother tells me tonight that she was making a lot of noise in the night when she was filling out the FAFSA forms online. It's been driving us mad with confusion to the point that my mother went to her accountant for help, which was really good because he gave a lot of good information. Back to that night, my mother was running around and was apologizing tonight after dinner. I laughed saying that I didn't hear anything and she laughed and said, " Oh no. I scared you last night." My only reply that I could give was "What?"

My mom explained that in the night, she needed to ask me a question and when she opened my bedroom door, she saw the lights off and that both my sister and I were asleep. And so my mom walked up to me and shook me to ask her question. As she said, I jumped up and started to scream and completely scared. Then, she said that my sister was yelling, "She's awake!". I have no clue as to what this all means because my sister is a nut, but hearing this was crazy! So after my mom told me the quick story, I asked her what she had asked me and she said, "For your email address." When I asked her for my sleeping reply she said that I told her my email.

The best part of all of this is that I don't remember any part of it.

Nothing.

Absolutely not. How could I have had a little conversation with my mom and not remember ANYTHING? The funniest part of all, I screamed. What was I even thinking of that would cause me to scream in hysterics? Usually, I wake before someone is able to answer the door, but this was wild.

Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone has ever had an experience like this where something has happened and yet they cannot remember it. Hearing this little event made me laugh so much, I cried. I literally had my face soaked with tears and a smile on my face because it was not like me. Oh well, I guess I really needed my sleep.

Is Fordham my new number one?

2008-01-26T12:22:00.000-05:00

So this week I had midterms and instead of studying for the exams, my mind chose to think of other things.

For instance, I was thinking about the mid year school reports that some schools request to receive after my midterms. It's not fun to do the little paperwork, or bug the guidance office, but I have some amazing grades this term so I do believe that it's going to help my application at the schools. It was while I was researching which schools wanted these reports (which of course was only Yale, Columbia, and Cornell), I came upon the Fordham website.

As a little introduction, my mother and I had been talking a couple nights ago about when we should visit the Fordham campus and hoping to do it in two weeks, maybe on a Friday. So I was really doing a bit of research as to the area that Fordham is in since a lot of people have been saying that they would have applied had it not been in the Bronx. Well, one of my good friends did tell me that they had one amazingly beautiful campus and all I could think about was seeing it. So, I started looking up what they had near them and what comes up? The Botanical Gardens. Yes, this is was extremely exciting for me, but then it got better when I clicked on the link for their main site and what's there??????

The Orchid Festival

My heart was racing and I was ready to explode because this campus had a Botanical Garden near by which features orchids every year in a show. How could it get any better? Well, I started dreaming, and it came really fast. My new option is to go to Fordham and study plant sciences for an undergraduate degree and while studying, I could get an internship at the Botanical Gardens. If I want to gain a masters in Horticulture, then I could go to UConn or Cornell to study even more!

Now doesn't that sound nice?

I cannot believe that I could have the ability to study plants, be in an area that has gardens, while living so close to New York City, and even better, so close to home!

Right now, that's my college plan. And to think-this week I had no clue as to what I wanted to do anymore. HA!

If you would like to watch my little youtube video of this, in case you hate reading, here's the video:

the new year

2008-01-05T22:28:00.000-05:00

Wow. I never believed that this year would come. And yet, 2008 is finally here and I'm just in shock.

First off, I have set some cliché goals for myself. For example:
graduating with honors,
getting fit
getting into a really good college
making the right decision in scholarships
being happy
enjoying my summer
making this year be amazing
finally getting my license
OH and to get a job.

Other than that, I think this year should be amazing, since everything will be changing into a new world! Oh gosh, I cannot even put it into words. It's insane.

Now onto COLLEGE. Boy have I got some updates!!!

I got a scholarship for $4000 each year to go to MSU.

I found this out three days after the New Year! Yeah...it's pretty nice, but not enough to really get me to go and stay in the middle of the country...

I got accepted to Fordham!

YAY! The news I found out the WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS! I now have a chance to live in the city and study mathematics! It's driving me wild that I did get into a good school like that, but its tuition is a bite out of my hopes...for a while.

I got accepted to UConn!

What a surprise to get the Saturday before Chirstmas! Yes, I got accepted to the perfect school for me, in my state! This means that the total costs of one year is half of what the tuition is for cornell...it's SCARY. I'm just so happy that I got accepted the amazing school that I LOVE and have a chance to study horticulture!

Cornell couldn't make a final decision...

This was a bummer in the week before Christmas, BUT it is good. Why? I didn't get DENIED! Although, this really gets me thinking. Do I think that paying $200,000 for four years of school at a school where everyone freezes and dies from hard work a good thing for me? I know that I sound ridiculous, but I am having second guesses if I should go there. If I do get a nice scholarship to cut out more than half of the cost to go, then I am there in two seconds, but if I have to compare it's $45,000 price-tag for each year to UConn's $20,000? Well, I think I know that I would look into Cornell for graduate school instead.

That's another thing I'm beginning to think about.

GRADUATE SCHOOL

Oh yes, I am not even a freshman or know exactly what I will be majoring in, but I do plan on going to graduate school. As much as I hope to not have to go through it, I do believe that it would be a wise career choice for myself. So with that in mind, I need to be able to plan for another large bill, but I would rather go to the best school on Earth for my graduate. Seriously. Who wants to have $450,000 worth of debt from 2 ivy league schools? I know I won't. Truthfully, I need to look into some serious scholarships and plan for both college experiences. Like UConn and then Cornell. Actually, I think that may be the best thing for me, but I'm not sure. Who knows what will happen when it all boils down to money??

SO...my life is just going insane with school, and not only college, but my workload of regular school is putting me to sleep at 3:00 in the afternoon. I wish everyone a Happy New Year, and advice everyone to just think about things in the wide perspective of life since we never know what may come our way...like a nice chance to travel the world after school? You wouldn't be able to do that happily with debt!

Oh Christmas!

2007-12-09T15:38:00.000-05:00

December is here. It almost seems as if the month came and jumped on my back to surprise me. I didn't even realize that December was coming so soon, and so much is going to happen this month!

First, I get to find out two college decisions this month. One from Fordham, and the other from CORNELL! I am so excited to find out these two decisions because Fordham seemed to show a lot of interest in me that they extended my application deadline over a week because I had not submitted it, and Cornell is my number one school. And as you may already now, if I get accepted to Cornell, then I am one hundred percent there because it is the school that I want to go to. AGH! So I don't want to think about it too much to only find myself disappointed, but I hope for the best! If I do get accepted to Cornell, I'll probably explode all over the place!!!

Second, CHRISTMAS is coming! I'm not one to be religious since praying never had a positive affect on me, but I really am one to participate in the gift giving! I just love to give surprises to everyone and each present has intense thought put into it so it's all special to me. I really do hope that I can make or find a good gift for everyone in the family! Oh and FRIENDS! What am I going to do for them? I know that I have one birthday/christmas present idea in mind for one of my best friends, and I have more ideas for others, but for some I just feel so clueless. It's going to be so much fun though! I just wish that some people realized how much love was put into gifts instead of ripping the wrapping and then throwing it all into a pile. Oh well.

Third, December is the end of 2007!!!!! YAY! I LOVE new years! They are just amazing. Even though I made my first "resolution" last year, and none of them came true, when a new year comes, I just feel refreshed. I don't know how to explain it, but a new "mood" comes over me...almost relaxed, but thanks to midterms that won't last long. Then again, this is my SENIOR YEAR!!! I am so happy because this particular change of new year means that in 2008, I will be changing from a senior in high school to an adventurous freshman at some amazing college. I'm so excited!!! So after that ball drops, I am only six months away from snatching up my diploma and seeing a new future!

Oh boy, so this month is going to mean a lot to me, and not like any other year before it. I hope that I can see the people I love, meet new people, like I did last year, make new friendships that I hope will last for a long and healthy time, and I will be one happy camper. Seriously. How many times in our lives are we given these drastic opportunities to change who we are and explore new horizons? I have been waiting for this for over ten years when I used to watch my mom teach college classes, and I still see this year as something amazing and absolutely exciting. How else should anyone spend their life? Experience something new!

Anyways, I hope everyone has a wonderful start to December! I know mine hasn't been what I wished, but I can close my eyes and dream some good ideas of things to do!

I AM A SPARTAN!!!

2007-11-06T20:55:00.001-05:00

i was accepted!!!, originally uploaded by smiles-of-karli.

So yesterday, Monday I was talking to my dad about how much I cannot wait to see where I am going to be accepted! Of course, you can tell from my previous post that my apps are driving me crazy, and that's normal. And so I've been wondering if all of this is for nothing:

Am I going to get accepted to any of the schools I'm applying to?!?!?!

Yes, it did seem like a risk to think that applying to MSU, Cornell, UC Davis, UC Berkeley, and UConn only and not know my safety school. Hell, I know that Cornell is the place I want to be. After seeing the campus a month ago, it's the only place on my mind. I'm in love with the environment, the program, and the teachers! It's just amazing!

And so....I continue with yesterday: I was telling my dad how I was scared that I wouldn't get accepted to any school. He isn't one to be optimistic so he didn't say anything, but I did tell him that MSU promised to have my letter of response postmarked by the 5th of November. So I went to dance class, came home and talked to my mom, played on my computer, watched tv, and then was called downstairs. What for? "You got a letter from MSU," my mom said so high pitched in excitement. I ran down the stairs even though I thought that it would only be another weird letter telling me that I should apply, when I already did. So I didn't think of anything, but as I came down the stairs my mom was saying, "it's a big envelope!!! Read the front! Read the FRONT!!!!" I ripped it out of her hands without reading it and soon came to the letter above, which states that I have been accepted.

ACCEPTED. one of the greatest words that you can ever experience, and on that day, I needed to hear it. I bounced, I hugged, I teared a bit in my excitement, and what did I want to do? Run as far away as possible and find everyone to tell and kiss someone, to give hugs and be overwhelmed with happiness. It was the craziest adrenaline rushes I have ever had, in all seriousness. I was shaking and bouncing on beds while running and screaming.

I was going somewhere. Now I don't have to worry that I won't get into college because I HAVE!

Then again, I'm still waiting for Cornell, and if I get in, hands down, I am going. No doubt about it. And if I don't, I'll cry, whine, get a bit agrivated with the world, but I'll move on and try to apply as a transfer the next year. Hey, it's not the end of the world. It would make my dreams come true, and all of my hard work pay off in one letter. One acceptance into happiness to learn something at that special place. It would mean the world to me. But if I cannot go as a freshman, then it is a battle between all schools to find out where I will be.

California? Michigan? Connecticut? Maybe New York?

Oh and I got an email from Fordham, they extended their early action deadline for me until the 8th so, HELL! I'll APPLY!!! Why not?!?!!

Wish me luck in my endeavors into adulthood of schools and the life around me! I learn so much everyday because of it!

I hate applications.

2007-10-30T00:13:00.000-04:00

College must be close to heaven. Actually, I wonder how hard it is to get into heaven because it seems almost impossible to do the paperwork for the applications to get into college!!! What is THIS!?!?!?! Just mayhem. That's all this is.

am i really changing for the worse?

2007-09-15T23:22:00.000-04:00

So when I returned to school the only thing on my mind was dropping out of my AP English class, which i did. The only thing is that when I did, my guidance counselor got weird on me, asking me why I felt like I needed to drop (I didn't finish my summer work and didn't feel confident in the class), if my friends had scored better than me on the AP tests (which some did) and if that aggravated me, or if it was me just being depressed. DEPRESSED? He asked me what had happened recently that would have upset me in any way shape or form, and I just cannot seem to pin point it. He had no ideas but I could think of a few:

What if I am still completely saddened by what seemed like a slow and miserable death of my grandmother, and soon grandfather within 8 months of each other? My father's mother got pancreatic cancer many years ago and never told anyone about it until a month away from her death. I remember visiting the hospital and trying to get her to look at us, to speak, even though she had left us a week before her death. Her husband, my step-grandfather, the GREATEST man on Earth, died of both cancer of the throat and a broken heart of missing the love of his life. I watched both of them wither away and die after telling them good-bye many times, and still not being ready for it. It was the hardest thing I ever went through.

What if I am still distraught after the death of my great-grandfather (my father's mother's step-father): the greatest man on Earth who wasn't even blood related, but better than my own father. He would call me about once ever week just to make sure that all was well, even while living in Florida while I in Connecticut, and at the age of 90 he passed away: this past January. And it was the worst thing on Earth to ever happen. I miss him to this day, but I am PROUD to have had such a good relationship with him even from such a distance.

What if it's my pain of hating the changes in my life? I used to go to my mom's best friend's house and play with her daughters who were my age. Now, one of three is off to college, their mother is getting a divorce, we hardly talk to the family because we never see each other, and it pains me to see it all. I used to dream of the day that I could drive to their house and sleep over, watch movies, play games, and just do the amazing things with them that I could never do at home. But now a we have all gotten older, changing our views on the world and different priorities in it, we grow further apart even as hard as we work to stay together.

What if it is my lack of will because I don't believe that I am successful? I look at my grades and see crap when others look and think I am a brainiac, when I'm not. I hate it, and I don't know if it is my being tough on myself or something else, but I am mad that people think that. Yes, I want to go Ivy League, but that doesn't mean I believe that I am the best candidate. I have seen better students then me, they do more activities, play more sports, and get better grades. I don't care that much, but I just do my best and am not surprised when I do poorly.

I'm not sure what's going on with me, and it's driving me nuts since I really just want to make things right. Wouldn't that be amazing. damnit.

Is time really this fast?

2007-08-07T01:47:00.000-04:00

So I am becoming a senior this fall and the thought of college is just absolutely exciting. This weekend I'm starting an SAT prep course at Sylvan hoping that I can gain amazing scores so I can get into an Ivy League School, and I fear both the work ahead and all of the paperwork (not to mention tests) that can just make me become very close to insane. Truthfully, I cannot wait to send out the applications and I can only hope, pray, dream, and work hard so that I can get into the colleges that I want. Oh and that's another thing. I know I want to go to Cornell University, or even the University of Connecticut, but I'm a tad bit unsure when it comes to applying to Michigan State and Ohio State. They all have good programs in my studies which are landscape architecture, but mainly horticulture. They all have many opportunities at good scholarships, and even special honor programs, if I feel like being insane. So I can only hope that it all works out. Until then, I still have much to do in my life. I have to take the driver's test in September, and I'm actually thinking of signing up for driver's this next coming week, even though I don't think the 30 hours of class will end before I take the test, but the knowledge will help. I just really need my license, and then I can get a job, which I need to find. My job will both fund driving (thanks to expensive and wasteful gas), school, and my new card business that my mom is thinking that I should start. I already make jewelry and have been selling it for years, but I just don't have the time for that anymore that I have been taking pictures of flowers, and different places and they could work as simple prints on white cards, Even a nice set of multiple cards could work as a set. I have to experiment and see if it all works out because November is the time when I would have to have them done for selling. Oh and I can never forget about school. This year is going to be REALLY hard with 3 AP classes and I can only pray that I stay on track with those, and other classes. I need to keep up good grades, and I do mean AMAZING grades because my GPA dropped from a 3.97 to a 3.73 since my failing some times, then again failing to me is under a 70. Anyways, just wish me luck. This year is going to be crazy. Did I mention I could use a hug? Because I could. badly.

Do you know what this is?

2007-07-24T22:06:00.000-04:00

So this weekend my mom found a thing, which I have no idea is. As you can see, it is a bit phallic, and we thought that it was something else, but it came from some little "casing" that seemed like a snake skin, but shaped like an egg, and it popped out from under a rock, and shriveled up by the end of the day. Is it a kind of mushroom? Might I add that this was taken in Dingmans Ferry, Pennslyvania, which is also known as the Poconos.

Here are some photos and if you know what it is, please tell me. Or at least some crazy thoughts.